50+ "Horse Walks Into a Bar" & Hay-larious Horse Dad Jokes

You are sure to stirrup some laughs with these silly "horse walks into a bar" and other horse dad jokes!

Published January 22, 2024
Horse showing his teeth and laughing

A horse walks into a bar and what does he find? A bunch of silly horse jokes designed to make him laugh and unwind! Best of all, his father came with him and boy is he about grin, at the humorous horse dad jokes that are about to begin. If you are looking for some hay-larious horse jokes for kids and adults, we have some jubilant jests that will amuse both fillies and colts!

A Horse Walks Into a Bar Jokes to Help You Horse Around

A horse walks into a bar jokes are the most classic horse-themed quips we know. Let's see if these silly horse jokes make you whinny with laughter or make your eyes roll!

A horse walks into a bar…and trips.

The bartender looks down and says, “What happened?!” The horse replies "I've fallen and I can't giddy up!"

A horse walks into a bar…and silently sits down.

The man next to him says "Why so quiet?" The bartender interjects saying, "Leave him alone. He'll talk whinny wants to!"

A horse walks into a bar…and starts sharing rumors about one of the other patrons.

The bartender says, "Rein in the gossip. I don't want you to stirrup any trouble."

A horse walks into a bar…ber shop…

The horse says “I found a small horse!”, but before he can continue, the barber cuts off his pony tale!

A horse walks into a bar…

The bartender says, “Hey!” The horse replies "Why certainly!"

A horse walks into a bar…has one drink and decides to leave.

The bartender says, “Leaving so soon?” The horse replies "Yeah. I'm gonna go hit the hay!"

A horse walks into a bar…

The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The horse replies "Pour me a glass of your best Chardonhay!"

A horse walks into a bar…

The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Horse Dad Jokes for Those Who Never Stop Foaling Around

To laugh or not laugh, that is the equestrian! These horse dad jokes are sure to stirrup some silliness!

What does a horse dad say to his foal at midnight?

Go to sleep! It's pasture bedtime!

Why did the horse dad take his filly to the vet?

She sounded a bit hoarse!

Did you hear about the horse dad who became possessed?

They had to call an ex-horse-ist!

Why did the horse dad send his mare to Cotillion?

He needed to work on his stable manners!

Why do horse dads stand behind their broncos?

They think they might get a kick out of them!

How does a horse dad get his filly to go faster?

He gives her more horsepower!

Why didn't the horse dad show up for his wedding?

He got colt feet!

What is a horse dad's favorite song to jam out to?

Watch me whip, and watch me neigh, neigh!

What does a horse dad have in common with a cloud?

They both hold the reins!

When should you expect a horse dad to fall?

When he's getting off his high horse!

horse laughter

Silly Horse Jokes That Will Cure Your Long Face

Like every award-winning Kentucky Derby horse after a race, these horse jokes are out-standing in their field! While they are a bit filly, you won't be able to hold in your laughs furlong!

What do you call a half-horse and half-human who always steals people's focus?

The centaur of attention!

Did you hear about the girl who shared her true feelings about her stubborn male horse?

She said the colt never bothered her anyway!

Why are mares terrible football players?

Because they're always making foals!

Where do horses go to cut their hair?


What did they nickname the horse who never lost a race? 


How does a seahorse win the Kentucky Derby?

He scallops!

What do you call the loudest horse in school?

A herd animal!

Why was the horse angry after his plans went awry?

Things neigh-ver seemed to go his way!

Neigh-Slapping Horse Jokes for Kids to Make You the Hit of the Lunch S-table

For the kids looking to be the mane event of the lunch hour, these humorous horse jokes for kids will get you a colt following!

What's a horse's favorite condiment to put on his sandwich?


Did you hear about the filly that fell?

She had fallen and she couldn't giddyup!

What happens when a horse turns into a vampire?

He becomes a nightmare!

How does the story of Cinderella's horse begin?

Once upony time...

What does a filly call her boyfriend?

Her mane man!

What kind of wizard would Harry Potter be if he were a horse?

A hoofblood!

Who is in charge of Bronco, Texas?

The mare!

Why did the horse cross the road?

To go see his neigh-bors!

smiling horse

Horse Knock Knock Jokes That Will Make You Field Good

Is there anything more corny than a horse walks into a bar jokes? Oh, hay-l yes! Knock-knock jokes, of course! 

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Sad who?
Sad-dle up, boys! It's time to ride!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Night who?
Night mares are the scariest horses!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Colt who?
Colt feet are never good for a wedding!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Mare who?
Mare-y Christmas and Happy New Year!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Spur who?
Spur-of-the-moment decisions can saddle you with regret!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Bonnie who?
Bonnie and Clydesdale were the greatest horse thieves of all time!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Herd who?
Herd you wanted my number?

One-Liner Horse Jokes for Spur of the Moment Silliness 

For the expert posters, make sure that your social feeds are filled with fun! Your followers are sure to get a kick out of these amusing one-liner horse jokes.

  • Maybe she’s barn with it…maybe it’s neigh-belline!
  • The best way to appreciate life is to hold your horses!
  • After a long day, every smart horse knows to hit the hay!
  • Won't you be my neigh-bor?
  • Decided to stall my worries and go for a ride today!
  • The best way to ship a little horse is to use the Pony Express.
  • Getting a horse saddles you with tons of responsibilities.
  • Carousel horses are such phony ponies.
  • Horses make the worst dance partners. It's hard to maneuver with two left feet!
  • Darn this tartle! I recognize your pace, but not your mane!
  • Runaway horses are the ultimate tales of WHOA!

RELATED: More Humorous Horse Jokes

Horse Dad Jokes Can Make You Happy

So what did you think about these horse dad jokes? Yay or neigh? We field that they're hay-larious! And if you are a fan of barnyard fun, make sure to chick out our eggs-cellent chicken jokes

50+ "Horse Walks Into a Bar" & Hay-larious Horse Dad Jokes