26 Hilariously Funny Horse Quotes to Crack You Up

Turn up the levity in the stables with these fun quotes, sayings, and one-liners.

Published February 6, 2023
Low Angle Portrait Of Horse Against Blue Sky

Horses are funny. They love to play, and they love to take their job seriously, whatever that may be. They can be serious and silly at the same time. They're also curious and incredibly intelligent, making their sense of humor that much goofier. If you're searching for the perfect quote to go along with your horse's silly personality, we've got you covered! Find the perfect funny horse quote for your four-legged friend.

Famously Funny Horse Quotes

Funny Horse Quote

Owning a horse can be overwhelming at times, but at the end of the day, it's worth it. Your horse shows you their drawbacks, love, and silly quirks. If you're a horse lover, chances are you'll connect with at least one of the following quotes:

  • "A horse is a horse, of course, of course. But this one's mine." - E.B. White
  • "The best way to catch a horse is not to try to. Approach the horse openly. It will see you, no matter how sneaky you are." - Iain Coleman
  • "My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable." - Henny Youngman
  • "Owning horses is perfect for people who never want to sleep in ever again." - Author Unknown
  • "It is a lot like nut and bolts - if the rider's nuts, the horse bolts!" - Nicholas Evans

  • "Tell a gelding, ask a mare, and discuss with a stallion. Pray if it is a pony." - Author Unknown

  • "Don't give your son money; as far as you can afford it, give him horses." - Winston Churchill

  • "He's going so fast, it's like watching a video in fast-forward." - Chic Anderson

  • "If you want a stable relationship, get a horse." - Author Unknown

A Horse's Personality

A Horse's Personality

If you currently or have ever owned a horse, you know they're big animals with big personalities. Even when they're not trying to be silly, or you don't think they're being silly at the time, they can make for a great laugh. Check out these quotes for a little chuckle:

  • "Horses were never wrong. They always did what they did for a reason, and it was up to you to figure it out." - Jeannette Walls

  • "Your horse's behavior always seems to depend on the number of people watching you." - Author Unknown

  • "If your horse says, "No," you either asked the wrong question, or asked the question wrong." - Pat Parelli

  • "Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people." - W. C. Fields

  • "One reason why birds and horses are happy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses." - Dale Carnegie

  • "Be wary of the horse with a sense of humor." - Pam Brown

  • "A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle." - Ian Fleming

Horse Jokes from Unknown Authors

Horse Joke from Unknown Author

There are so many horse jokes out on the web, but we have compiled our list of favorites here. Check them out!

  • How does the upbeat horse look at life? As a glass hoof full.
  • What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late? A night mare.

  • What did the horse ask his owner? Did you ask me equestrian?
  • What makes a horse sneeze? Hay fever.

  • What's a horse's favorite condiment? Mayo-neighs.
  • What's a horse's favorite wine? Chardonhay.
  • How much money does a bronco have? A buck.

  • Why did the horse cancel last minute? It got colt feet.
  • What do you call a mentally balanced horse? Stable.
  • What computers do horses like to eat? Macintosh.

Choosing the Best Quote

If you've ever owned a horse or been around one, you know that they have a sense of humor. Sometimes they're just being silly because they're bored, but sometimes it's because they want to mess with you! If you snapped a photo of this silly behavior, chances are you're looking for the perfect quote. Choose the one that resonates with you and your giant buddy.

26 Hilariously Funny Horse Quotes to Crack You Up