50+ Turtle-y Fun Turtle Facts & Jokes to Shell Out the Smiles

Whether you're looking for fun turtle facts for trivia night or quick jokes about turtles to shell out the smiles, we've got you covered.

Published January 29, 2024
turtle eating lettuce

Turtle facts are a terrific tool for learning about one of the world's oldest creatures! These aquatic and terrestrial animals come in all shapes and sizes and have a variety of weird and wonderful abilities. If you want to find out more about these cold-blooded creatures, check out our extensive list of sea turtle facts, tortoise facts, box turtle facts, and more! And if you are looking for a laugh, we also have some shell-arious turtle jokes for you to enjoy!

Interesting Turtle Facts 

They have no teeth, they lay eggs, and they can live for hundreds of years. If you're curious about these cool creatures, we have some spectacular turtle facts for you to check out!

Box Turtle Facts

Box turtles are an ordinary pet with some extraordinary skills. Check out these brilliant box turtle facts — you may just decide to get one as a pet! Just keep in mind that box turtles aren't legal as pets in all states and require some serious specialty veterinary care, so these little cuties aren't for the faint of heart.

Box turtle with girl and strawberry
  • Box turtles are the most common type of pet turtle.
  • Box turtle shells can regenerate.
  • They also have a hinged shell, which allows them to almost completely shut it for protection.
  • "Seeds consumed by box turtles have a higher probability of germinating." 
  • Eastern box turtles are "the most common land turtle in the eastern United States."
  • Like many other animals, male box turtles tend to have more vibrant colors, whereas the females shells feature more subdued shades.
  • Male box turtles also tend to have red eyes. 
  • After mating, female box turtles can store the sperm for up to four years!
    • This means that they can still lay eggs without access to a male for extensive periods of time.
  • Tennessee and North Carolina have named the Eastern box turtle their official state reptile.

Box turtles and other turtle species make great companions, but wild turtles should never become pets. Confinement can cause these animals stress, which can be detrimental to their health. You should also never release a pet turtle into the wild. "Captive turtles often do not survive being released into the wild and released pet turtles may introduce diseases into wild populations."

RELATED: Cute Box Turtle Pictures

Sea Turtle Facts

Did you know that there is one species of sea turtle that has a third eye? Leatherbacks use this 'skylight' to sense changes in the seasons, which signals them to migrate south! This is just one sensational sea turtle fact. Check out these other surprising turtle facts about these ocean dwellers!

Sea turtle
  • Unlike their cousins on land, sea turtles cannot retract their heads or limbs. 
  • Most sea turtles swim at speeds of 0.9 to 5.8 mph.
  • They can hold their breath for several hours.
  • There are seven living species of sea turtles. These include Loggerheads, Leatherbacks, Kemp's ridleys, Olive ridleys, Hawksbills, Flatbacks, and Green turtles. 
  • The largest and fastest turtle on earth is the Leatherback sea turtle. 
    • They can weigh up to 1,000 pounds and they can swim up to 22 mph.
    • Leatherbacks are the only sea turtles without scales.
    • Their migrations average 7,400 miles round trip.
    • According to Guinness World Records, the largest leatherback turtle ever recorded was 9 feet 5½ inches and he weighed 2,120 pounds. 
  • Four states—California, Texas, South Carolina, and Florida—have sea turtles as their official state reptile. 
  • A group of sea turtle eggs is called a clutch. 
  • Sea turtles call the ocean their home. They can be found everywhere across the globe, minus the polar seas
Fast Fact

When on land, it may appear that sea turtles are crying. This is not the case. They are actually releasing the excess salt, that is taken in when they eat, through large glands by their eyes. This adaptation ensures that they don't have too much salt in their body, which would otherwise be lethal.

Tortoise Facts

Did you know that tortoises and turtles are not the same thing? If you want to learn more about these old souls, then check out these cool tortoise facts!

Tortoise walking in grass
  • Every tortoise is a turtle, but not all turtles are tortoises. 
  • Tortoises can live for 150 years or more. 
    • Turns out that the slower your heart beat, the longer your lifespan and tortoises average about 10 beats per minute!
  • A group of tortoises is called a creep.
  • They have elephantine feet that are designed for digging.
  • Tortoises have higher domed shells compared to other turtles.
    • This helps them to store water since they typically live in dry environments. 
  • Land tortoises can be found on every continent, but Australia and Antarctica
  • It is believed that tortoises with lighter shells tend to come from warmer environments and those with darker shells come from colder environments.
    • This is an adaptation that helps them with temperature regulation. 

Shell-larious Turtle Jokes That Are the Turtle Package

If you are looking for a spectacular shell-ection of turtle-y ridiculous turtle jokes, then we have some quips that are sure to beak your interest!

Why do turtles always do well in school?

They have turtle recall!

How does a turtle author know that he is successful?

His books end up on the New York Times Best Sheller list!

What kind of turtle becomes a photographer?

A snapping turtle!

Did you hear about the tortoise who fell off stage during his choir performance?

It was a turtle disaster!

What kind of music helps a turtle stay up on his feet?

Rock and roll!

Where do tortoises go when they commit a crime?

A prison shell!

What does a turtle pilot fly?

A Shell-icopter!

How did the turtle pass his college algebra class?

He went to all the turt-orials with the professor!

Where does a turtle go to get snacks to fuel his day?

The shell station!

Did you hear about the turtle who only worked at night?

He was a bit noc-turtle!

When can the Ninja Turtles not get out of the sewers?

When they are out of turtle power!

Why should you never throw a turtle a surprise party?

They don't like being sturtled!

Why did the Loggerhead decide to marry the Leatherback?

She thought he was the turtle package!

Turtle Facts Can Help You Find New Family Members

Not all turtles and tortoises should be pets, but there are a handful of turtles species that can make fun and unique companions! Just remember that these creatures have long lifespans, so if you decide to get one as a new family member, it could literally be a lifelong commitment!

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50+ Turtle-y Fun Turtle Facts & Jokes to Shell Out the Smiles